Old writing notebook

*Two days after my 25th birthday, Dec 2011

She turned 25 a couple of days ago. Gone were the days when birthdays seemed so special - a day you look forward to when you were just a little kid. She wasn't that young anymore and she knew it.

Somehow, "All the Love in the World" kept playing in her head and not for the first time that day, she asked herself if she was ready. She doesn't want to fall into the trap of thinking that she's ready to fall in love again when she's really not. It has been an obsessive thought lately. Something that she doesn't want to think about anymore. She knows that if she's indeed ready, she wouldn't have to ask herself that question anymore. She'll just know.

** January 26 2012
Sometimes I feel the my world shake. The slightest tremor sends anxiety to my already addled brain. It's as if my soul is moving parallel with the earth's core, sending slivers of alarm, alerting me that something inside might collapse.

(P.S. I don't know what this meant. Probably pretty sure I was stressed out during this time.)

***June 1 2012
When I went to Baguio last month, there was this pure moment of contentment that I felt. We were praying inside the Our Lady of Atonement Church and I just felt this utter sense of contentment: that there might be something still missing but I love my life as it is anyway. I've got everything I need.

(P.S. I need to be reminded of that feeling again :) )