This is who I am... according to Flickr

The concept:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste the html into your blog or Flickr stream.

The Questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Looked up your flickr name and see what pops up.

Thanks Toni of http://wifelysteps.com. :)

Photos from here:
1. Camille, 2. Chocolate, 3. High Tech High North County, 4. chiffon-a-line-short-or-long-hot-yellow-2010-new-bridesmaid-dress-bm-0195, 5. Jensen Ackles, 6. Cruiser, 7. Edinburgh Photography, Royal Mile, High Street, 8. Ice Cream, 9. Marine lieutenants, pilots, by the power tow-plane for the training gliders at Parris Island's Page Field, S.C. (LOC), 10. Mountain Sunrise Landscape, 11. Risk taker, 12. 09 - Camille Birthday 2011 - April 2, 2011

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

The Road to Caleruega and Tierra de Maria

I woke up to a rainy Saturday morning and received an SMS from Zan saying: “It’s raining hard. Can we reschedule?” Our plan was to go to Caleruega and Tierra de Maria that day. It was 6 am and we were supposed to meet up at 7. Given that I got home late the night before and still wanting to sleep, I replied: “Sure. Let’s resched.” And then, I went back to dreamland.

Around 10 am, I was awakened by my phone, notifying me of another SMS from my friend. The weather had a complete turnaround by then and Manila was back to being its sunshiny self. This time the SMS said: “Let’s go. I’ll pick you up in an hour.” And so I hurried down the stairs, drank some coffee, and showered quickly.

A month has passed since we planned this trip and I wasn’t excited about the destination itself but more so of the journey. We would be cruising down the roads with 90s music on the radio - the music of our teenage years – happily musing about the scenery, the recent happenings in our lives, and our plans for the near future. I was with my two best girl pals – Melai and Zan- and I knew that that day would be awesome. Of course, our constant boy friends (Ivan, Nick, and Patrick) were surely missed, but, sometimes, girls need to have some time alone with their girl friends, right?

The weather was crazy. When we got to Nasugbu, we were greeted by overcast skies and knew that soon the rain would fall. Luckily, the rain held on until we reached Caleruega. If you’ve heard about the place, I’m sure most of what you've heard are beautiful reviews of the place. And I agree, the place is beautiful but I think it’s kind of overrated. I think churches around Metro Manila (i.e. San Sebastian, Manila Cathedral, San Beda) are equally beautiful as Caleruega. Minus its bucolic setting, Caleruega loses its edge. To be honest about it, I was sort of spooked by the place. Blame it on the gloomy atmosphere with the wind whistling its angry song in the background. A goose walked over my grave when I walked down the dark corridor inside the visitor center (I’m not really sure if that’s what they call that building but it’s the building in front of the parking space, the one that greets you once you enter the premises).

Rain started to drop as we made our exit to Caleruega. We drove back to Tagaytay to visit Tierra de Maria. An enormous image of Mama Mary, 50-feet to be exact, welcomed us there. You can also check out who’s your patron saint based on your birthday there. Mine is Saint John of the Cross. Our visit to Tierra was very brief because it was already 5.30pm and the church was closing down. There were still many visitors, though, and each was falling in line to say a prayer to the Lady of Manaoag.

We ended our Tagaytay-Nasugbu cruise by having dinner at Mushroom Burger. It was my first time to eat there. I ordered the Pinoy burger with cheese, mainly because it was the one variant with no veggies on them (hehehe). It wasn’t 100% mushroom but a mix of longanissa and mushroom. I’m not a fan of neither mushrooms nor longanissa but, surprisingly, I liked it.

It was a great day. I don’t know when our next road trip would be but I’m already wishing I could fast forward time to that day. I am always thankful for these simple days when I spend time with my friends because they always help me rediscover myself. They know me better than anyone else. Hmmm…maybe even better than my parents do *wink*.

*Sorry, no pictures for now. Will post some later. :)

At times like these I know I need to write

I know I need to write whenever I feel so restless. It helps organize the jumbled thoughts and feelings tumbling inside my head, if not quiet down the unrest I feel inside. So here goes...

Sometimes, I feel like my life is a series of montage – everything goes by so fast I can hardly keep up. I’m here one second and gone the next. My mind keeps wandering away and, lately, I’ve been thinking about what the hell it is I would really, really like to do with my life. Some friends say this is a natural occurrence for a soon-to-be 25 year old – the proverbial ‘quarter-life crisis’ phase. But, honestly, I’ve been thinking about this for such a long time now, even before I hit 24. I guess it just so happened that I’ve reached my saturation point as my 25th year is approaching. Nevertheless, quarter-life crisis or not, this hollow feeling of uneasiness is too strong it is almost tangible. Maybe this is a consequence of listening too much to Stacie Orrico’s ‘More to Life’.

Aside from feeling a bit down lately, I confess I haven’t been productive at work as well (read: half-hearted attempts at finishing outputs, hitting the snooze button more than I should, and then dragging my late ass to work on weekdays). I think this is a low point in my career. To tell the truth, I want to do good, to be better, to suggest mind-blowing ideas – and I know I can if I tried harder. The problem is I don’t know if I’m ready. I know, that sounds a bit like an excuse – a very stupid, very lame excuse. But it’s the truth, anyway. I’m not ready to step up because I don’t know if this is what I want to do for the next 40 years or so. I’m not ready yet because I haven’t even tried anything else aside from this field. I’m not ready yet because all my life I’ve been so serious about everything that now I just want to bum around and do nothing. Live off on what little savings I have. Do something that does not involve major brain exercises for a while. This is so easy to say on paper but knowing myself, I’d probably wait until I have a concrete plan before throwing my life in the wind. The very antithesis of what I’m trying to achieve.

Don’t get me wrong, the root of my growing unhappiness does not spring from the work that I do. It’s a case of “It’s not you, it’s me.” It’s me who doesn’t know what she wants, me who doesn’t want to grow up, me who isn’t ready to face up to the challenge yet.

I'm not really sure how to end this post because there's really no resolution coming up in my mind. I'm like Odysseus trying to find Ithaca for ten long years. Hope someone or something helps me along the way.