Her Struggle

Her Inner cathedral begs to disagree

On the thoughts that her brain wishes to pursue

It warns her of a certain imminent danger

Like a monster in the shadows, waiting for its prey

To come near his nook, to be trapped in its spell

In order to satisfy its ripe hunger.

What would she give up?

To live the life she dreams of, to lay claim on her birthright

She thinks slowly, her head buried in the sand

Yearning for answers she couldn’t find

What is she giving up?

Her eyes are hot and tired

From trying to look far ahead

Never seeing what’s in front of her

Never realizing what’s beneath her

What is she willing to give?

To gain the life she wishes to live?

Colorless

Tears
Can be black and blue
Rivers flowing down your cheeks
In colorless streaks
Where did the colors go?
When did the colors drain?

Rain
can be a scarlet brew
Flooding down the caramel hills
In colorless sheets
Where did the colors go?
When did the colors drain?

...

Dear _________,

Forgive me for being a little bit frustrated. It might not even be your fault. Maybe it's mine, since I assumed and expected something will happen. That you would, at least, do something. I thought it was a start of something great but I guess, I was wrong.

And so, to purge myself from all these thoughts of you swirling around my head and these daydreams that seem to never end, I decided to write you this letter so that even if on a virtual level, I would've expressed how I felt about this (whatever this is) and more importantly, about you. Hoping this letter will make me realize and come to terms with the reality that you will never make your move. Or the reality that you might not even really like me.

I blame it all on being a bit sad - these baseless assumptions - owing to a recent falling out that I went through. My morale plummeted and when you paid me some attention it felt like the clouds started to lift somehow. But aside from the occasional hellos and the tight-lipped smiles, there were no follow throughs and I ended up confused. Maybe you don't like me enough? Or you were just being friendly all along? I have a lot of questions to ask you but I guess, I have to face the fact that I might not get any answers at all.

So to end these trivial musings, I write this letter. Whatever happens (or do not happen) next, I leave it all to fate. This matter has taken so much of my time - I cannot afford to dwell on this any longer. And as I close this letter, I promise, with a heavy heart, that I will go back to the time when your presence did not affect me as much as the next person.