Why is it so difficult to write?

Where to start?

The last month of 2013 has not been kind to me and I had to reassure myself that I can get through the storm. I don't really want to go into the details of it here and there has been too much time spent talking to friends about it offline that I kind of feel better now. But not totally better. Then New Year came and work officially resumed. It's only been two weeks since then but it feels like it has been two months already.

I attempted to update this blog (way too many attempts, to be honest) but nothing ever materialized. I have too many draft posts that probably wouldn't see the light of day. Too many starts that end up abandoned and unfinished. It's so hard to write. It's hard to write what's true.

Then I got this health scare that's still bothering me. I keep bleeding for things, literally and figuratively. I feel uninspired. Tired, too. And I know this isn't going to last but I hope it ends soon. This Zombie phase when you feel like you're on helium and everything just passes by. This phase of trying to be selfless but then deep inside you hurt and it eats at you. And you try to be fair but then you start thinking: What about me? That's how I feel. That's the truth.