2015 Year-end Survey

Continuing a blog tradition! :)

        1) DRINKING BUDDY OF THE YEAR

         

        Roomie!!! Where’s the wine?! Lol.

2) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (longest friend/s)

Default. Same answer as last year! (Hi Zan, Ivan, Nik, Yshio, Kim, Cris, Gandara, and Melai!)- Fifteen years this 2016.

3) NEWCOMER AWARD - COOLEST NEW FRIEND/s?

My Gymboree Saturday co-teachers, my housemates, and the “aunties” of UM! :)

4) HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR?

Riding Cylon a day before I turned 29! You might say I’m kind of taking this literally (haha) but it’s a symbolic act for me. I have been to USS a couple of times already before I finally decided to ride this attraction. I used to have this notion of ‘reserved’ things to do; ‘reserved’ meaning to do only with a significant other. Riding Cylon was one of them.

Whenever I ride Human, I always ask the person sitting next to me if we can hold hands – not because I like them or what haha but because I get really nervous and panicky. I squirm on my seat and my heart starts to go on overdrive. Holding someone’s hand gives me comfort. And Human is like gentler than Cylon. I always thought “No way am I gonna ride Cylon. I would need someone who completely makes me feel safe before I’d try that.” Thus, the reserved status. Looking back, my reasoning sounds twisted and shallow to me now. :P

So on my last day as a 28^th year old, I decided to abolish the reserved rule. I would be missing out on a lot of things if I followed it. And there was a sense of accomplishment (proud moment!) I felt after that Cylon ride. J

5) LOW POINT OF THE YEAR?

I wouldn’t really say ‘low’ point, maybe just bumpy. The first three or four months here in Singapore was kind of lonely. I was struggling at work and I missed my family a lot. I used to cry in hawker centers while having lunch, missing my mom and dad and the thought that I could be sharing this meal with them back home was heartbreaking. But, as time passed and as I got accustomed to the local media scene, things got better. I also realized that home is not that far away – only less than four hours away – and mom is always online on Facebook so I could just do video call and instantly see her, dad, Gian, and my cats! J  

6) BEST HOLIDAY?

When Yshio came to visit! Not really a holiday – just one weekend! To be honest, the past two years were trying times in our friendship. It’s nice to finally be able to start over again and to renew the ties that bind.

7) YOUR SONG FOR 2015?

Need a Little Sunshine - Augustana

8) MOVIE FOR 2015?

Star Wars: The Force Awakens – because it’s the first ever Star Wars film I watched and it made me realize how come I never watched Star Wars before.

9) WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINE'S WITH AND WHERE?

With Teej at Susi. Was Vegan for a night!

10) WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLOWEEN?

Errr…nothing! No Halloween party this year.

11) RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR?

Fabulous Baker Boy! J

12) KISS OF THE YEAR?

Cat kisses!

13) BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR?

Be an OFW. It has its lonely and problematic moments- from getting lost on a regular basis to bouts of severe homesickness and questioning your self-worth- but you learn a lot. You learn a lot about yourself and it is such a humbling experience that makes you realize there is always room for improvement.  

14) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR 2016?

Be a first-rate version of me.

15) MOST STUPID IDEA WHEN DRUNK?

Not really that stupid but funny nevertheless – sit on an empty sidewalk on a busy street while waiting for the cab to arrive. Oh and we booked two cabs and ignored one of the drivers when they tried to call.

16) TV SHOW/s OF THE YEAR?

Pangako Sa’Yo – although, lost interest halfway through.

17) MOST LOYAL FRIEND(s)?

Helloooo Patrick Alonsagay and Jonnalee Tuazon! Labyu! :*

18) BIGGEST CHANGE OF THE YEAR?

Moved to Singapore.

19) NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION?

Save money! :p

I. (1/1/16)

Hello,

I sent you a letter once. No, I actually did several times. Once in Manila and several times here in Singapore. Anonymously, of course. I don't know if you ever got any of it. 

I never had any clue whether it reached you. I was hoping you'd try to find out who sent it. Like in Amelie. It was that movie that inspired me to do it. In my head I was already writing our love story but I guess, that was pushing it too far. After all, our lives never unfold the way movies do.

I write this on my flight (turbulent, by the way!) back to Singapore on New Year's day (but only got to publish it now). I read your New Year's Day post and it made me feel sad and happy at the same time. Happy because maybe you finally found love yet sad that it's not with me. (That sounded baduy and childish hahaha but it's the truth. :)) I do hope it works out for you. And do work on it like you say you would, lest she hits you in the head. :P

Happy New Year and Good luck!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Hello, I'm still here. Hi. :)

Forgive me if this will be in Taglish. Nakakamiss kasi mag-Tagalog.

I wonder if there will ever come a time when I won't cry inside the plane whenever it's time to leave Manila and go back to Singapore. After some time, masasanay na din kaya ako?

I thought I wasn't going to cry this time around. It was such a short trip anyway; akala ko saglit lang naman ako sa Manila so di naman siguro ako malulungkot nang sobra. I was able to spend time with my parents, meet up with Ivan after two years, eat Crispy Pata and sing videoke all in one day. My friends even accompanied me to the airport and stayed until it was already time to board. Plus, Jonna and I was on the same flight (though different seats). The fact na may kasabay ako on the plane is a relief already.

Okay na ko e. Okay na talaga sana e.

Until my seatmate, si Ate (sorry, I don't know her name. I should've asked!), made a call. Pasaway, nasa loob na nga ng plane e tumawag pa. The below is my best recollection of the conversation. I wan't trying to eavesdrop but given that we were seatmates, well, there's no way not to hear.

"Babe, nasa plane na ko. Di pa gumagalaw. Hinihintay pa ibang pasahero.
Anong ginagawa mo? Matutulog ka na? Yung bigay ko sayong kumot, sa'yo lang yun ha? Wag mong papagamit sa iba.
Kaya ayokong umuuwi e, nalulungkot lang ako kapag babalik na.
Naiiyak ako, babe."

Well, nauna pa yata akong umiyak once I heard that phrase. And then she started crying on the phone, too. Haay, the plane has not even started taxiing on the runway - we were still in Manila - and there I was bawling and not caring while other people stare. Will I ever not feel homesick anymore?

After a few minutes, Ate asked me: "Okay ka na? Nakakalungkot no?"
"Okay na ko, Ate. Thank you."
Then, she offered me two Tictacs and patted my shoulder.

Things to do...

(Effective immediately)

1. Run M-W-F.
2. Swim on Saturdays (starting next next week after the big move)
3. Read at least an hour a day.
4. Stay calm and focused.
5. Be open to whatever comes next.
6. Learn like you'll live forever.
7. Be kind to others and to yourself.
8. Speak your mind.
9. Make mistakes.
10. DGAF.

Scaredy Cat

Image from here.

List down mundane things that scare the sh*t out of you:

1. Microwave ovens: This is how it usually goes: I put in the frozen thing inside the oven, close the oven door, set the timer, and then...I run. I only return when I hear the "ting!" which means it's safe done. I try to avoid using one as much as possible. But, since I only have time for frozen dinners (sosyal! read: 711 or Cheers ready-to-eat frozen stuff) especially on weeknights, I use it two to three times a week. My fear of microwave ovens started in our old office (GT Tower, 33F, hehehe) when one of my office mates had an accident when she put in a hard-boiled egg inside the oven. When she cracked the eggshell, it, literally, exploded. The guard came rushing in inside the pantry and thought there was a bomb or something.

2. Escalators: Only the "going down" ones because there's a high risk of having your feet "eaten" by the machine. On a regular day, you already have to worry about not being a klutz and getting your foot eaten but the risk doubles during rush hour. Don't you just hate it when there's too many people on the escalator and no space in between you and the person standing in front of you. I prefer to have 2-3 steps allowance. Distancia Amigo. 

3. Confined spaces or objects that makes you feel boxed in: In one of our holidays, my friends and I decided to do reef walking. You have to wear this sort of astronaut-like headgear which is 25 kg and your only lifeline connected to O2. You wear it and then you submerge yourself into the deep blue sea for God knows how deep. So, it came my turn to descend to Neptune's realm and had to wear the astro-Oxygen helmet. I wore it, climbed the steps down the boat, held on tight to the ladder attached to the boat while my feet were already in the water and then...I cried. Sorry, just couldn't take it. Felt like I was being suffocated. Ironic, since the helmet is a mini Oxygen tank. I backed out and missed out on counting how many starfishes were there on the ocean floor and the chance to star in an underwater video.

4. Elevator rides, in general - Well, I'm claustrophobic. Aside from the tight space, I guess I've watched too many horror scenes with ghosts inside the elevators and I tend to recall the scenes whenever I'm alone in an elevator. Or am I really alone? :/

5. Flying ipis. No explanation needed.

6. Dogs. Because they bite. Most people will never understand. In the same way that I will never understand why some people are afraid of cats.

7. Contact lenses. Touching your eye is scary enough; putting something inside it is even more scary. Cheers to eyeglasses!

8. Electric sockets. Just because a) you can get electrocuted; b) it can short-circuit and cause a fire; c) it can short-circuit and you can get electrocuted before it starts a fire.

There. They all seem so harmless but when fear takes over the controls, then it becomes a different story - things just become scary in a very weird and almost funny way.

August

 In the silence of her heart
She whispers
Her fears, her secrets
The shadows that haunt her soul
In the silence of the night
She lets her self be led
Into a place where she's free to crumble
Where it's okay not to be so strong
Where waves of distress can engulf her
Without a care as to who may see
Or hear
That place is hers
And hers alone
No one is allowed to enter.

Drunk Post (Singapore Edition)

I haven't been this drunk since what, February??

I should still be working by now. But because there is a farewell party tonight, I have been drinking since 6.30. And yes, I am drunk. 

So forgive the grammatical errors and such. Cut me some slack will ya? Hemingway said to write drunk guys. I'm just following his advice. 

Singapore has been good to me. Sometimes, I feel so overwhelmed and ask myself: "What the hell were you thinking?" But, most of the time it's okay lah. I can't even think of a reason to come back to PH (except for my parents, my cats, and my friends, of course). I'll be sad if I ever leave Singapore. It's like I can build my future here.

---end of drunk post--