Goodnight Baby

I didn't get to see her alive when I woke up this morning. I did see her: curled up inside a shoe box, her amber eyes open but unseeing. She must've been in pain even during the final minutes. I stroked her head one last time, took a deep breath, and knew that I will never see her again. If only I did not linger in bed, if only I didn't hit snooze and just went downstairs immediately...Ohmyghaaad, I'm tearing up again :( I'm a walking bag of guilt and grief. Anyone who ever had a pet they loved could probably relate to the sadness.

She started to throw up last Saturday night and refused to eat ever since. She ate our house plant. Cat owners, house plants are toxic to cats. I thought she was going to be better today because we already, finally, went to the vet yesterday. (Too late :( ) She had three shots for her fever. The shots were meant to relieve her of it. She still didn't want to eat last night, not even a drink of water. Before I went upstairs to sleep, she was just sitting on the floor, trying hard to sleep, shifting positions every so often. I guess the pain never allowed her to sleep.

She's barely two years old. She's quiet, unlike Hachi or Kimba who tend to run around the house, breaking things. Midnight was skinny; she's pure black with piercing amber eyes. She used to follow me around the house, even inside the toilet. She responds when you call her name. She knows who she is. She's scared of thunder and the sound of drums. When there's a visitor inside the house, she scurries upstairs to hide. Her favorite food is chicken liver. Oh, and she likes hunting birds, too.

Goodnight Midnight. I'm sorry. I should've taken you to the doctor sooner. I hope it's true that cats have nine lives. I hope you're waking up somewhere, a newborn kitten, living her second life. I miss you already. I love you.

Independence Day

My heart skipped a beat at the sight of...the pool. I didn't know it was possible to feel so at home in the water. Before taking up swimming lessons, I was afraid of it. But now, after only one session, there's a certain sense of calm that washes over me (pun unintended) once I'm in the pool. I want to stay in the water for as long as possible, until my skin is gnarled and I'm too tired to even just glide on the surface. Plus, I like the way I look after a good swim - skin golden brown, nose as red as Rudolph's, my hair sticking out every which way. And my eyes - though tinged with red - reflect joy, contentment, and a realization that I want to be here - in the water. I feel so carefree. My heart continues to skip a beat.

We swam for an hour and a half. I know I could use some more practice. Nahihirapan pa din ako sa breathing when doing freestyle. It's all about timing and I have to work on that. Yesterday, the Pius pool was closed so we swam at the YMCA instead. It's harder to breathe there - the water's too thick with chlorine, it tends to burn your throat when you happen to swallow even just a teeny bit.

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American Psycho update: I'm almost done, probably down to the last 30 pages of the book. I couldn't contain the events to myself any longer that I tried to entice my brother to listen to me rant about this madman's misadventures. Well, my brother just shook his head, waved me away, and continued watching the Heat-Spurs rerun on TV. Oh well. 

I wonder how Mr. Ellis wrote the book. Did he do a lot of research on serial killers - real life and fictional ones? Ted Bundy? Hannibal? Did he had nightmares after writing this particular book? It's so graphic I shut my eyes every time Bateman strikes. Great writing: I believe every single thing Ellis wrote, even if I know that the chance of him writing this from personal experience is close to nil.

Patrick Bateman makes Hannibal look like an amateur. But at least, Hannibal's "classy". But Bateman....he's out of his fucking mind. I want to place this book next to my DI Rebus series, half hoping that John Rebus springs to life, enters the American Psycho world, and nails the bastard. That'd be nice.

***

Midnight gave birth yesterday - four kittens, two pure black and two black ones spotted with white.

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I wanted to kiss you on the cheek when we said goodbye but I guess, I was shy. Awkward. One of these days, I'll finally succeed in doing it and then it...really...is...over. Done. Just like when Popoy kissed Basha on the cheek in One More Chance post break up, the first time they saw each other after a year. Sooner or later, I'll be able to do it. Just you wait.

Meowwwwwww.

Eto ang totoong #selfie

Hachi's gone M.I.A.; I'm going berserk

I woke up on Sunday morning to find Hachi gone. I wasn't really worried because she usually goes out and then returns before lunchtime. What's unsettling is that she didn't return before lunch nor after lunch. She hasn't returned as of this morning. I'm worried sick. Has she stopped adopting me? :(

Hey Hachi!

Me: Hey Hachi!
Hachi: What do you want now?
Me: Can you please get off the table? I want to watch TV and you're blocking my view.
Hachi: Can't you see I'm resting? And, I was here first.
Me: Get off the table now or I'll...
Hachi: You and your empty threats. Don't disturb me or I'll be mad. And you know what that means. (Scratches the table for more emphasis, then goes back to sleep)

(Gave up trying to coax her. Instead of watching TV, just went to sleep.)

Another Unfinished Story

Angela’s send-off is tomorrow night. Did you hear me, Sunny? Tomorrow night’s my last chance to talk to her and ask her to go out on a date. I can hear her say ‘yes’ already. You believe me, don’t you? I’m gonna ask her out and she’ll say ‘yes’. I’m gonna take her here after and then, you’ll finally meet her. We’ll have a few more Budweisers and make out in this old and beaten leather couch. I’ll look into her eyes, brush her hair away from her face, and then...who knows.

But, how do I ask her? I’ve been devising how to approach her ever since the first day she stepped into our windowless office. I remember her wearing a crisp white button down, her tight skirt hugging her cute butt, and her wavy hair framing her elfin features. Every guy craned his neck to blatantly stare at her swinging hips as she walked down the corridors to where her designated seat was. To my surprise, her seat was next to mine. I turned to look at her but had to quickly jerk my head away because I saw her looking. And then, the most amazing thing happened, she tapped me on the shoulder. SHE TAPPED ME. Can you believe it? She tapped me on the shoulder and said hello. I acknowledged her with a curt nod and returned to staring blankly at my computer screen. I pretended I was working intently. My fingers started tapping the keyboard automatically, aimlessly: asfjeopjrklnskhek’wefwlfj. Inside I was dancing but, of course, I can’t let her see that. I didn’t want her to think I was easy.

Since then, I’ve left her dozens of anonymous post-it notes and glass menageries to show her how suave I am.  The post-it notes she threw in the trash but the glass menageries she kept. She especially liked cat menageries. See? She’s my soulmate. She likes the same animals I like. I’m sure that you two will get along well. Hey, stop hissing. We’re still best of friends, man. Don’t be jealous. Stop looking so forlorn. Sunny, you’re not even a female cat so snap out of it. There, good boy.

It’s weird, though, because she never did once ask me if I knew who was giving her the post-it notes or the menageries. She just took them as if she was used to being showered with anonymous love letters and glass animals.  I tried to give her a hint that those came from me. One day, I signed my initials on the note but, like any other day, she crumpled the note without even reading it. 

***

And then I got stumped again on what to write next.

Image from here.

Happy EDSA day!

This bebe just gave birth to four bebes last Saturday. She had 2 salt and pepper kittens, one pure black (like Midnight), and one pure white. I want to name one of those kittens EDSA since they were born on February 25. If you're interested to become a human of one of these bebes, let me know. The white one is already taken. :)