There goes the light, it just went out.



How do I feel? Like crap. Like all my energy just went down the drain. How can a simple picture make me feel so bad? Maybe it was the look in their eyes. They were happy, they were together, and they smiled like they were happy to be together.

I saw him the day after the picture was posted. I was in a funk, out of sorts. Catatonic even. I was sluggish, my voice just above a whisper. I made unremarkable comments about the food, about my day. He said, "Parang matamlay ka yata ngayon." I smirked. I wanted to scream. It's because of you, you idiot! I wanted so bad to tell him. Drag him into my disgusting misery. But I can't, I won't.

We're friends. First and foremost, we're friends. Before I fell in love with him, we were friends first. And friends want their friends to be happy. Whatever feelings I have should be placed in the back burner. Besides, we've already talked about it a couple of times and things never work out. It's just not meant to be. And I want him to be happy. I think he already is.

Good for him. Damn good for him.