The Inkblot Test

Look at the picture below. What do you see? Me, I saw the Eiffel Tower.

See it?

Quizly says: "The Inkblot test dates back to the 19th century and can accurately indicate a lot about your personality".

There were pictures, though, which looked something else to me and did not match any of the choices. For example, there was an inkblot which, to me, looked like two dragons but dragons were not included in the options. So, I just ticked "Animal that's not a cat or dog" since it's the closest description.

After eight questions, you'll get a result. Here's mine:

Yeah, exactement.

Take the quiz here.

11:11

11:11. They said I could make a wish. So whenever I catch the clock hitting 11:11, I'd say your name. More like a prayer than a wish. I'd only stop whispering your name when it hits 11:12. You'd think I was crazy and being all voodoo-like but for someone as shy as me, who freezes and gets tongue-tied in your presence, this is my appeal to the cosmos, my attempt to rally the universe behind my cause. And that is, for you to take notice of me. Besides, I'm a girl and a girl can only do "first moves" so much.

I don't think it's working either. Well, there was one time when we passed by each other in the corridors and you gave me a half-smile and I smiled back. It took all my strength not to swoon/scream right then and there. But that doesn't mean anything to you I know. Other than that, nada. Come to think of it, I rarely even see you. And if I do see you, it would be around two seconds and then, you're gone again. Five seconds max. Elusive, like the golden snitch.

There are days when I feel okay. Newsflash: I don't think about you every second. Moments when I forget that you exist and I'm just so caught up with whatever it is I'm doing like work, like writing or reading. On days when your absence is prolonged, my heart calms down and it doesn't look for you. But then, because fate is really mean, those 2-sec sightings happen and my heart is again thrown into a frenzy. It becomes greedy and looks for you everywhere; wants everyone to be you. Then I won't see you again for a long time and it's calm. Until I see you again. And the cycle of heart attacks begins again.

I don't know how this came to be. It was just a simple crush. But then, I made the mistake of saying it out loud, told my friends about it and before I knew it, voila, full blown Superbass whenever you pass by.

I'm writing this because...I don't know. Because, maybe, it's hard to say it, hard to tell you, in person. I needed to get it off of my chest. Tell you about it somehow before the forces of nature spirit me away to my most awaited adventure. My last attempt to send the message across without having to open my mouth, literally. And, mind you, this is the closest to a confession you're gonna get. So there.

XXVIII.

I keep on 

Looking for you in places

Where I go

Where I know you won't be

I keep on looking for you

Wishing that the random stranger who walks like you

Is indeed you

Wishing that by some twist of fate

Your feet leads you to where I am

And then I'll see you where I never thought I would

But until then

Until that serendipitous moment

I will keep on looking for you 

I'll keep on searching for you in everything

Everywhere

I will keep on wishing it's you.

2014 Year-end Survey

    1) DRINKING BUDDY OF THE YEAR

    ??? Drink? What drink??! lol. 

2) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (longest friend/s)

Same answer as last year! (Hi Zan, Ivan, Nik, Yshio, Kim, Cris, Gandara, and Melai!)

3) NEWCOMER AWARD - COOLEST NEW FRIEND/s?

Panalo kapag kay Dia Manalo!

3) HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR?

September!!! I fell in love with Siem Reap. I wish I could go back. :) (Soundbite while walking along Pub Street: Ladeeeh, do you want Marijuana?? I give youuu.")

4)LOW POINT OF THE YEAR?

Maybe when we went to Bangkok and we were scammed and the tuk-tuk driver told us to f*ck off. 

5) BEST HOLIDAY?

My solo Singapore trip! Four days of walking and walking, getting lost, and enjoying my own company. And of course, the sunburn. :)

6) YOUR SONG FOR 2014?

Don't Look Back in Anger (Oasis)...HAHAHA...Well, 2014 was really a bad year.

7) MOVIE FOR 2014?

Maleficent--only because I watched it in SG (yes, I'm a social climber like that lol).

10) WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINE'S WITH AND WHERE?

I'm not sure hehe. For sure, it isn't memorable. :P

12) WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLOWEEN?

Well, attendee ng Yule Ball. Harry Potter theme daw kasi e.

13) RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR?

BONCHON.

14) KISS OF THE YEAR?

Hershey's Kisses

15) BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR?

Forgive. But never forget. Because an elephant never forgets lol.

16) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR 2015?

Travel the world.

17) MOST STUPID IDEA WHEN DRUNK?

Kumain ng buhangin. Don't judge meeee!

18) TV SHOW/s OF THE YEAR?

Jane the Virgin FTW!

19) MOST LOYAL FRIEND(s)?

Aris, moon of my life, my best friend in the whole wide world. :*

20) BIGGEST CHANGE OF THE YEAR?

Pota, wala. Napakawalang kwents ng 2014 ko 'yo!

21) NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION?

Eat more vegetables, read more books. Write more. Write pa more. Tama na Clash of Clans (weh?).

XI. I hate it when I see you (11/11/14)

I hate it when I see you

It makes me ache for something I can never touch

It gnaws at my bones and extinguishes warmth

It leaves my insides hollow and cold

And it aches

And aches

And longs for something to fill the void

A void that no one else but you can seal.

And so I promise

Not to seek you out anymore

Because I'm okay when I don't

But whenever I see you

I'm reminded of a place I can never go to

And I don't want this rabid thing inside my chest

Tormenting me with its angry beats

And eats me up until nothing's left.

X.

I had to get rid of

The parts of me that is you

And so I start with the crown on my head

Though the strands are barely the length of my little finger

Snip

And snip

And snip

Again

The debris of the fallen

Scattered on the floor

Little islands of love floating in remorse.

- "Hair cut", August 27 2014

IX.

“

If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I’m neurotic as hell. I’ll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.

Buddy put his hand on mine.

Let me fly with you.

”

—	- The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath <3 nbsp="" p=""> :)