Leaving on a Jet Plane

Hello, I'm still here. Hi. :)

Forgive me if this will be in Taglish. Nakakamiss kasi mag-Tagalog.

I wonder if there will ever come a time when I won't cry inside the plane whenever it's time to leave Manila and go back to Singapore. After some time, masasanay na din kaya ako?

I thought I wasn't going to cry this time around. It was such a short trip anyway; akala ko saglit lang naman ako sa Manila so di naman siguro ako malulungkot nang sobra. I was able to spend time with my parents, meet up with Ivan after two years, eat Crispy Pata and sing videoke all in one day. My friends even accompanied me to the airport and stayed until it was already time to board. Plus, Jonna and I was on the same flight (though different seats). The fact na may kasabay ako on the plane is a relief already.

Okay na ko e. Okay na talaga sana e.

Until my seatmate, si Ate (sorry, I don't know her name. I should've asked!), made a call. Pasaway, nasa loob na nga ng plane e tumawag pa. The below is my best recollection of the conversation. I wan't trying to eavesdrop but given that we were seatmates, well, there's no way not to hear.

"Babe, nasa plane na ko. Di pa gumagalaw. Hinihintay pa ibang pasahero.
Anong ginagawa mo? Matutulog ka na? Yung bigay ko sayong kumot, sa'yo lang yun ha? Wag mong papagamit sa iba.
Kaya ayokong umuuwi e, nalulungkot lang ako kapag babalik na.
Naiiyak ako, babe."

Well, nauna pa yata akong umiyak once I heard that phrase. And then she started crying on the phone, too. Haay, the plane has not even started taxiing on the runway - we were still in Manila - and there I was bawling and not caring while other people stare. Will I ever not feel homesick anymore?

After a few minutes, Ate asked me: "Okay ka na? Nakakalungkot no?"
"Okay na ko, Ate. Thank you."
Then, she offered me two Tictacs and patted my shoulder.

Things to do...

(Effective immediately)

1. Run M-W-F.
2. Swim on Saturdays (starting next next week after the big move)
3. Read at least an hour a day.
4. Stay calm and focused.
5. Be open to whatever comes next.
6. Learn like you'll live forever.
7. Be kind to others and to yourself.
8. Speak your mind.
9. Make mistakes.
10. DGAF.

Drunk Post (Singapore Edition)

I haven't been this drunk since what, February??

I should still be working by now. But because there is a farewell party tonight, I have been drinking since 6.30. And yes, I am drunk. 

So forgive the grammatical errors and such. Cut me some slack will ya? Hemingway said to write drunk guys. I'm just following his advice. 

Singapore has been good to me. Sometimes, I feel so overwhelmed and ask myself: "What the hell were you thinking?" But, most of the time it's okay lah. I can't even think of a reason to come back to PH (except for my parents, my cats, and my friends, of course). I'll be sad if I ever leave Singapore. It's like I can build my future here.

---end of drunk post--

I keep waking up at 3 a.m.

And I keep on remembering "The Conjuring" wherein the protagonist wakes up at 3:15 am every single night. It's scaring the living daylights out of me. I find it difficult to fall back into sleep and, usually, dozes off at around 4 am already. That's why I feel so grumpy when my alarm goes off at 6:45 am.

So I looked online for possible reasons why this is happening. Apparently, there are a lot of literature on the subject  - scientific ones and paranormal ones. A lot of other people seem to experience it, too.

As expected, many pointed out that this was the witching hour and the time when spirits supposedly are stronger. But there were scientific reasons offered, too: low blood sugar and your adrenal glands shooting up because of stress. Another one  I found interesting: self preservation.

"It's probably a throwback to when our ancestors had to watch out for predators, so they wake up at 3 a.m. to see if everyone is still there."  (Read full article.)

My favorite explanation is this one offered by Traditional Chinese Medicine. You can read it here. I like it because it integrates scientific and spiritual/emotional reasons together. If you have time, read part 2 as well.

I'll try to remember these reasons when (and if) I wake up at 3 am again tonight. ;)

Shiok!

First off, HELLO!! I have been putting off writing here for some time now because, well you know, life happened. With all the frenzy of moving to another place, this blog has taken a backseat. So yes, HELLO THERE. May this be the start of regular posts again (cross-fingers).

I’ve been meaning to write about the big move to Singapore. And it seems really timely to do it now, at this point in time. Why? Because same date year ago, I was riding a bus, headed to Boat Quay in search of Neko no Niwa and that bus ride was one of the highlights of my solo Singapore trip last year. It was my first time in SG and I was alone and I was lost most of the time but... I didn’t care. I just wanted to sit on the bus, stare out the window all day, and relish how clean, how beautiful, and how peaceful this place was.

I have never thought of working in another country before. I was happy where I was. I liked my workplace in the Philippines a lot. I love my teammates. I am mom to nine cats. And I live with my parents and my brother; I would miss all of them if I go – and why would I want to go in the first place?  I know, these are all just excuses because I didn’t want to step out of my comfort zone. E, dito na lang ako. Ok naman ako dito. Everything changed with one bus ride.

Fast-forward one year later and here I am, already done with my first month as an expat. I was homesick most of the time during the first week. I remember trying hard not to cry and hearing my voice break the first time I called home and heard my mom’s voice on the phone. One time I was eating lunch at a hawker center alone and suddenly missed my parents and my eyes began to water. Again, I tried not to cry in public. Then, there were nights I’d cry because I missed Hachi. HAHA. Homesickness is real.

But, of course, after a while you get to adjust. And I’m very thankful that my flatmates are so cool. They are my family here in Singapore and they fed me (HAHA), taught me the do’s and don’ts (e.g. always keep left, “Can” means okay, taxis with red lights are busy, etc.), put up with my corny jokes, and basically made me feel at home. 

My first real struggle happened at work. I couldn’t understand what people were saying and vice versa. They talk in Singlish real fast. One time, I was talking to a media partner on the phone and I couldn’t really follow what she was saying. I asked her to repeat several times already. So I just said: “Cannot understand. Please email instead.” LOL. After a while, your ears will adjust (and your Singlish skills will, too) and I pretty much can follow conversations now.

Need I elaborate on the food here? Just look at my Instagram and you’ll see food shots 90% of the time. I used to complain that they have big servings here but now I find myself finishing off those big servings. Singapore is a melting pot of different cuisines – Chinese, Western, Malay, Indian, Japanese, Korean. There are so many dishes to try. I always look forward to meal breaks here HAHA. Side kwento: my boss’s goal is to feed me until I reach 50 kilos; five kilos more than what I weigh now.

So, there. That’s my first month in a nutshell. It's a long weekend this coming week and I plan to swim a bit and go check out a few places I've never been to yet. It has been amazing so far and I’m looking forward to the months ahead. Looking forward to more adventure!