I feel these days that motivation has to come from within. I certainly cannot extract it from the wasteland that is our office. Some days, I have to squeeze it out of my writhing heart, and bleed it try just so I can put my a face to my bosses, and maintain a semblance of vigilance, engagement, and even as basic as interest.
It does help to remind myself, that I am getting paid for what I do. However incommensurate it may be.
The way I look at what I do right now is more on a functional perspective, a means of how I can sustain my current lifestyle. Sometimes, I humor myself by thinking that maybe I am just too tired to fully appreciate what I do and then it hits me that I am ALWAYS tired to the point that it is so hard to get out of bed in the morning.
I love my team. I guess, that's the biggest reason why I'm still here.
It's a very Machiavellian way to look at things, that work should only be there to provide you with the means to actually pursue your true vocation; whatever that may be. I wish I could say the same for my team here, or for most of the people at work in general, but I can't.
I, too, am perennially haunted by exhaustion and distress from the seemingly banal pursuit of professional satisfaction. There are days I question of I really am in the appropriate industry/ field. I fight off the possibility of becoming jaded in design, a discipline I have loved and cherished as an idealistic undergraduate student before.
I feel these days that motivation has to come from within. I certainly cannot extract it from the wasteland that is our office. Some days, I have to squeeze it out of my writhing heart, and bleed it try just so I can put my a face to my bosses, and maintain a semblance of vigilance, engagement, and even as basic as interest.
ReplyDeleteIt does help to remind myself, that I am getting paid for what I do. However incommensurate it may be.
Hahaha.
The way I look at what I do right now is more on a functional perspective, a means of how I can sustain my current lifestyle. Sometimes, I humor myself by thinking that maybe I am just too tired to fully appreciate what I do and then it hits me that I am ALWAYS tired to the point that it is so hard to get out of bed in the morning.
DeleteI love my team. I guess, that's the biggest reason why I'm still here.
It's a very Machiavellian way to look at things, that work should only be there to provide you with the means to actually pursue your true vocation; whatever that may be. I wish I could say the same for my team here, or for most of the people at work in general, but I can't.
DeleteI, too, am perennially haunted by exhaustion and distress from the seemingly banal pursuit of professional satisfaction. There are days I question of I really am in the appropriate industry/ field. I fight off the possibility of becoming jaded in design, a discipline I have loved and cherished as an idealistic undergraduate student before.
Let's have coffee some time. :)
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